"Whats Cooking?" with Waffles and Mousemeat

Blog by Waffles & Mousemeat

July 26, 2006/ JFK, New York:

Holy guacamole! We made it guys. We’re in the New York Television Festival this September under the ‘education’ genre! (Brains and good looks, see!). We just found out about the great news here in the Delta international departures terminal at some kind of very expensive and difficult to operate Internet kiosk; I’m so glad we checked our email before take-off… and Waffles wanted to use our last five bucks on trail mix and an US Weekly. I’m more of an In-Touch mouse, anyway. So, we’re off on our “Great European Taste Tour of Mostly Cheese but Other Food Groups as Well: Summer ‘06”! This NYTVF acceptance is the cherry on top – no you can’t have the cherry, Waffles, it’s a figure of speech – of an already fantastic summer ahead of us! We’ll keep checking in to bring you up-to-the-minute details on the festival, but most importantly the food! They will be having cheese on toothpicks at our screening, right? Yours truly, Mousemeat

July 29, 2006/ Paris, France:

Bonjour, Foodie Friends! Mousemeat here, reporting live! We’re braving summer crowds and a crummy exchange rate so that we could taste-test, first hand (or paw!), the many epicurean delights from this vast and varied continent. This has been in the works for quite sometime, but what with Michael Chertoff in charge, apparently I fit a suspicious profile for Brie-smuggling so it took a while to get my passport. But anyway! We’re here and boy is it great! Boulangeries, Patisseries, Charcuteries, Cheese-eries: the options are endless. I even learned some invaluable French phrases on my iPod during the plane ride over: “Ou est le fromage?” and “Ou est le Champs Elysees et… le fromage?” I’m not sure if that’s how the last phrase went, but I’ve been told I have an ear for foreign languages, so that’s just an innate flurry of improv. I know, I know; you’re either born with it or not. I was. Now, what was I telling you about? The Eiffel Tower? French Existentialism? Karl Lagerfeld?  No… That’s right, cheese! I’ve eaten my weight – and Waffles’ – in the stuff: Cheese on onion soup, cheese on baguette, cheese on ham, cheese with fruit, cheese and wine (Waffles drinks from the carafe). I even think I ate escargot – with cheese! They say Paris is the most romantic city in the world; surely they were talking about my love affair with Camembert! They also say that it’s easier than ever for foreigners to invest in the European real estate market, so I am looking into that, too. If I mortgage the mouse-hole back home, I might be able to get a nice pied-a-terre on the Left Bank and write my memoirs or the next “Moonstruck”. Yours truly, Mousemeat

August 1, 2006/ Paris, France:

Hey, everyone! Mousemeat’s listening to his French tapes again (I’m not sure they’re too good, though. He seems to only know this one phrase…) so I thought I’d type up a quick ‘hello’ to all our Foodie Friends out there. Wow. What can I say? I have only been outside of my home zip code twice, once on a camping trip and another time to the beach. I preferred the former, as I am a fan of s’mores, and not really crustaceans. But, here I am! Me – Waffles - in the Artichoke Capital of the World. Wait, no. That was Castroville, California. In any event, we are here on our Euro Food Tour (Mousemeat says the shorter name sounds too Rachel Ray-ish, but I disagree. More Al Roker) and I have already traded in my chef’s hat for a beret to be more, “tray sheek” I think it’s spelled. It’s also been great since dogs are allowed in restaurants here so there’s no need for doggie bags. Went to Versailles today – wow! Those dining tables went on for miles. But I’m not sure, though, if Mousemeat was right about Marie Antoinette’s most famous line. I thought she said something else in that Sofia Coppola movie, but Mousemeat tells me Kirsten Dunst must have improvised – something you’re either born with or not, he says (he was) - because it wasn’t about cake, but cheese. (Ms. Coppola also got the soundtrack all wrong, Mousemeat says, because the Strokes hadn’t gotten big in Europe yet so it’s unlikely that Marie was listening to them as she did in the movie). Anyway, whether it was baked goods or Brie, I say “the more, the more delicious”. And I don’t think they needed to chop-off her head for it. She was telling them they could have it, after all. And it’s good to share!  Foodie Friend Forever, Waffles

August 6, 2006/ Berlin, Germany:

Darling, danke shein, darling danke shein, mm, mm, mmm, Danke – Oh, hello Foodie Friends! Guten Morgen to everyone – I was just humming a very esoteric song about Teutonic gratitude. No need to discuss – sure you haven’t heard it. Anyway, here we are in Germany, birthplace of many wonderful things (apple strudel, schnitzels, sauerkraut) and one big awful one- but let’s not bring the room down about that. We are currently in Berlin, which was formerly divided into two parts, East and West, until the Berlin wall came down in 1989. Today, Waffles and I went to a museum about communism and East Berlin and, boy, I sure wouldn’t have lived on that side if I had been a German mouse. The grocery stores looked pretty empty in the photos we saw. Believe me, though; I can see why all those people thought socialism would be an OK way to live. It sure sounds, well… social! And I always like a good dinner party. But sometimes sharing – especially cheese – is not a good idea, a credo I exercise when eating with Waffles. Which is why, if I may wax economic, capitalism works so well. After all, it did invent phrases like “Bring home the bacon” (source of quote unknown) and my personal favorite, “Makin’ cheddar”, which I think P-Diddy coined. But it may have been Jay-Z, I’ll have to google that. In any case, contemporary Berlin has become a melting pot (mm… fondue) of avant-garde culture and ideas! There’s even a trendy restaurant here where you eat in complete darkness! How about that! All this time we mice were actually on the cutting edge. Yours truly, Mousemeat

August 12, 2006/ Budapest, Hungary:

Whew! I’m sure glad to be out of Germany, Foodie Friends. Don’t get me wrong, I like strudel as much as the next terrier, but when I overheard someone tell Mousemeat that a Weiner schnitzel is just a Weiner dog, I almost lost my lunch! Luckily, though, I didn’t; but I had a second lunch that day anyway, just in case. So, that is why I am excited to be out of Berlin and here in Budapest – the capital of a country I can finally relate to: Hungry. Or, wait. No. It’s Hungary. I get confused during my afternoon sugar low. No wonder I love it here: with a name like that, I’m never too full to eat more! Mousemeat’s a little sore about the city’s name, though. He’s very sensitive when the word “pest” is thrown around. Today, the two of us went to one of the many ancient Turkish baths found here in Budapest that are supposed to have waters with magical healing powers. Mousemeat says he feels nearly 3 weeks younger from soaking in all those natural minerals. I thought the water just tasted salty, though, and that just made me hungry. Or is it Hungary… Oh! Foodie Friend Forever, Waffles

August 16, 2006/ Umbria, Italy:

Hello, Foodies and Gentleman! We made it! To the land of Mozzarella! Parmesan! Ricotta! Asiago! The country they say is shaped like a boot (by Prada, maybe?): Italia! If you ask me this is hands-down the best international cuisine EVER! A mouse could die happy here – even in if you gotta go in a trap. Italians are not to be messed with, though. They just won the World Cup, for cheese-cakes! I mean sakes. Think about it - cheese and champions - coincidence? I think not. Waffles and I have had some all right Italian meals back in New York City and you can always get a slice at any hour of the day. But, cheese-Louise, this place puts Ray’s to shame. (Sorry, Ray. It’s the Romano talking). We’re in the countryside right now staying at our own private villa. It’s very “Under the Tuscan Sun” (a reference you’ll get when you see our show at the New York Television Festival!). In fact, I think our stay here might inspire a sequel. I can see it now: Diane Lane falls for a short, dashing Casanova with big ears and a mysterious pink bow on his tail. But the object of her affection is already in love with a sharp, rich, aged… wheel of cheese! I’m pitching it tomorrow. Hey, doesn’t the NYTVF have some sort of pitch contest? Move over amateurs, Mousemeat Bertolucci has arrived. Wait, no. He did “Stealing Beauty” which was in the Italian countryside, as well. Really original, Bernardo. Whatever. We can remake that, too: “Stealing Mutey”, the tragic tale of a mute mouse in the Umbrian backwoods who discovers that life can go on without words. But not without cheese! Yours Truly, Mousemeat